She/They Pronouns: Being Non-Binary As A Black Woman
Get To Know Me | Div's Book Crumbs Entry 001
I get asked sometimes about my pronouns, Especially as a femme presenting non-binary person.
Why would I come out as non binary if I would only change half of my pronouns? Would it be redundant to tell people I’m non binary if I am still identifying with “she/her”.
At first glance my “they/them” pronouns seem to be an addition to my identity and not my identity itself. But as an unambiguously black femme presenting person, she/they takes on much more complexity than being okay with multiple pronouns.
Black Women & Systemic Oppression:
Black women experience multiple layers of discrimination and racism. We are not just systemically oppressed because of our skin color. Black women are unfairly treated in every direction of oppression. From the patriarchy to inner-community issues like colorism and texturism.
When a femme presenting unambiguously black woman declares their gender to be other than what they will be perceived as, we do not inherit the privileges that gender ambiguity or fluidity awards our non-black friends in our queer communities.
When people ask me why I just don’t choose a singular set of pronouns to go by, my answer is always this: I am and will always be a black woman in this world before I will ever be perceived as anything else. I have been lucky enough to experience my life as a black woman and grateful to have survived my life as a black woman.
Life as a Non-Binary Black Woman:
Being a black woman transcends gender. It is a community of resilience, softness, exhaustion, and triumph. It is a place I find refuge when I’m tired of the way the world treats me. It is the home of my soul. Being a black woman is not just about being a girl. It is about learning the language of resistance from those who speak it fluently. It is where I learned to craft confidence from scratch — where I honed my courage and found my voice. Black women taught me the power of femininity in a world that wanted to harden me. It taught me beauty when society would deem us “unconventional”.
So for me, as a non-binary person, I am not just They/Them I am also She because apart of my Pride is being proud to be a black woman. Being a black woman is a part of who I am in ways gender cannot confine. In similar ways, I think the same can be said about womanhood in general.
Womanhood & Solidarity:
Womanhood is so much more nuanced than who is assigned female at birth. It is a community of oppressed people at various degrees fighting for our right to exist with dignity and autonomy.
I hope that in celebration of Trans Visibility Day that we reflect on the ways we hinder our own progress by senseless gender wars that alienate trans women, specifically black trans women, from not just their gender identity but their community.
Trans women have a right to their community. We should be embracing their courage to join us in our efforts to challenge and emancipate ourselves from the many forms of systemic oppression that are being escalated on us. Their fight is our fight, and ours is theirs.
There Is Hope:
No matter what your trans identity is, I want you to know that you belong. Your communities will find you in the wilds of your authenticity.
You are one brick in a wall of a very big fortress. You are never alone — So, continue to exist in all of who you are and know that you are loved and wanted! Focus on nourishing the communities we have that create more of what we love in the world. Share your hope where you can and never forget that rest is revolutionary. And when the haters try to dull your shine just remember Mother told us to pay it no mind.
This is an article I wrote about my personal journey and I hope it offers more insight into the person behind this substack. Thank you for sharing this moment with me.